Friday, January 27, 2012

I just wanted to say...

I just wanted to say....

by Rose Harris on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 12:11am
Today the peak hour commute consisted of the usually stern business types in their executive cars crying tears into their laps as they listened to stories of heartbreak and pain broadcast over the airways, it somehow felt wrong to be driving my husband to work as per usual with two happy kids in the back seat as thousands of people mourned loved ones, property and pets and others wondered if the lack of contact meant good news or bad.

Triple 0 operators spoke of the dying words now forever etched into their minds of vulnerable victims on the end of the line as the fire came rushing in, others told stories of how they escaped the terror any way they could and surgeons recounted the cost of the devastation as their ICU rooms filled up. The country's leaders fought back tears and everyone seemed to know someone who had been involved.

The enormity of Saturday's bushfires hasn't hit home with me yet, I still find myself in a state of disbelief and awe of the fury of the inferno. I can't imagine what it must be like for those directly involved.

It seemed everywhere I looked today, everyone had the same thing on their mind, or at least were trying to somehow process the news of the devastating death toll as it climbed by the tens as each hourly news passed. The usual bustling nature of the city was on slow motion.

What do we do? How can we help? Just how will the state recover? And it still isn't over, fresh alerts continued to be issued as the fires continued to rage and previously contained ones flared back up. People begged Mother Nature to bring an end to it all and give some relief to those many volunteers, CFA personnel and those protecting their property who must surely be near breaking point, if not already there.

Last night as I walked to my clothesline with a heavy basket of wet washing, I looked to the eerie red/orange sunset, one I had never witnessed before and couldn't help but crumble in tears as I thought of those many people who don't even have a basket of clothes to wear, let alone a line to hang them on, and my mind dared wander to those sitting under that same fiery sky with tears of grief for relatives, friends, neighbours who couldn't escape the fireball of terror as it ripped trough their usually peaceful, friendly communities.

Reports of hospitals running out of drugs, morgues running out of room and buses going to collect survivors and returning empty made it feel like I had somehow woken up in the middle of a movie and it was all just too surreal and horrific to comprehend, or maybe it was just that my mind wouldn't let me believe it was real.

It was a day when I held my husband and babies tighter than I ever had and thanked God we were together and not in the path of the destruction. But the guilt of being thankful we were not affected had me wandering around in circles all day, packing bags of clothes, finding blankets, items needed by those devastated, then looking at the pile of things and realising that they were just that - things - no one could ever erase the memory of such a hellish experience for these people, no one can bring back their most treasured possessions, no one can breathe life back into those who have perished in such godawful circumstances.

It was a day when comedians stopped being funny, everyone went about their usual duties in a daze, nothing else mattered, everything seemed nominal in comparison. I grew up hearing about the Ash Wednesday fires like they were yesterday and here I am living out a disaster which is many times worse. Even my kids who should be too young to understand seemed uneasy, irritable, as if they were reflecting the mood shown by the rest of the state, the rest of the nation.

In a rushing swirl of confused emotions, I also felt that patriotic sense of pride as I heard relief centres were being inundated with donations, people were being turned away from blood donation centres due to the influx of those wanting to help, telephone lines taking donations were engaged and businesses started offering support in any way they knew how. There is never any doubt that Australians will rally around a cause and see the downtrodden rise back to the top, and I am certain this will be no exception, it will be a challenge for our grit and determination, but if there is one thing I am most certain of, it is the true Aussie spirit will shine through and see our country recover, if it means selling lamingtons on the corner of the street or donating funds from a cricket match, we'll get there, with the glue that has held this unique nation together through so much, we'll get there, just hold on you brave people, we'll get there.Even the usually emotionless newsreaders couldn't hide the bloodshot eyes and wavering voices as they described the horror.That eerie, horrible sunset.

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