I just wanted to say...

I just wanted to say....

by Rose Harris on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 12:11am

Today the peak hour commute consisted of the usually stern business types in their executive cars crying tears into their laps as they listened to stories of heartbreak and pain broadcast over the airways, it somehow felt wrong to be driving my husband to work as per usual with two happy kids in the back seat as thousands of people mourned loved ones, property and pets and others wondered if the lack of contact meant good news or bad.

Triple 0 operators spoke of the dying words now forever etched into their minds of vulnerable victims on the end of the line as the fire came rushing in, others told stories of how they escaped the terror any way they could and surgeons recounted the cost of the devastation as their ICU rooms filled up. The country's leaders fought back tears and everyone seemed to know someone who had been involved.

The enormity of Saturday's bushfires hasn't hit home with me yet, I still find myself in a state of disbelief and awe of the fury of the inferno. I can't imagine what it must be like for those directly involved.

It seemed everywhere I looked today, everyone had the same thing on their mind, or at least were trying to somehow process the news of the devastating death toll as it climbed by the tens as each hourly news passed. The usual bustling nature of the city was on slow motion.

What do we do? How can we help? Just how will the state recover? And it still isn't over, fresh alerts continued to be issued as the fires continued to rage and previously contained ones flared back up. People begged Mother Nature to bring an end to it all and give some relief to those many volunteers, CFA personnel and those protecting their property who must surely be near breaking point, if not already there.

Last night as I walked to my clothesline with a heavy basket of wet washing, I looked to the eerie red/orange sunset, one I had never witnessed before and couldn't help but crumble in tears as I thought of those many people who don't even have a basket of clothes to wear, let alone a line to hang them on, and my mind dared wander to those sitting under that same fiery sky with tears of grief for relatives, friends, neighbours who couldn't escape the fireball of terror as it ripped trough their usually peaceful, friendly communities.

Reports of hospitals running out of drugs, morgues running out of room and buses going to collect survivors and returning empty made it feel like I had somehow woken up in the middle of a movie and it was all just too surreal and horrific to comprehend, or maybe it was just that my mind wouldn't let me believe it was real.

It was a day when I held my husband and babies tighter than I ever had and thanked God we were together and not in the path of the destruction. But the guilt of being thankful we were not affected had me wandering around in circles all day, packing bags of clothes, finding blankets, items needed by those devastated, then looking at the pile of things and realising that they were just that - things - no one could ever erase the memory of such a hellish experience for these people, no one can bring back their most treasured possessions, no one can breathe life back into those who have perished in such godawful circumstances.

It was a day when comedians stopped being funny, everyone went about their usual duties in a daze, nothing else mattered, everything seemed nominal in comparison. I grew up hearing about the Ash Wednesday fires like they were yesterday and here I am living out a disaster which is many times worse. Even my kids who should be too young to understand seemed uneasy, irritable, as if they were reflecting the mood shown by the rest of the state, the rest of the nation.

In a rushing swirl of confused emotions, I also felt that patriotic sense of pride as I heard relief centres were being inundated with donations, people were being turned away from blood donation centres due to the influx of those wanting to help, telephone lines taking donations were engaged and businesses started offering support in any way they knew how. There is never any doubt that Australians will rally around a cause and see the downtrodden rise back to the top, and I am certain this will be no exception, it will be a challenge for our grit and determination, but if there is one thing I am most certain of, it is the true Aussie spirit will shine through and see our country recover, if it means selling lamingtons on the corner of the street or donating funds from a cricket match, we'll get there, with the glue that has held this unique nation together through so much, we'll get there, just hold on you brave people, we'll get there.Even the usually emotionless newsreaders couldn't hide the bloodshot eyes and wavering voices as they described the horror.That eerie, horrible sunset.

Incredible Kids

Incredible kids.

by Rose Harris on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 12:23am

My kids are incredible. Yeah, yeah…here we go, another parent proclaiming they have spawned the returned Messiah. Truly though, my kids are quite amazing and it isn’t until the house is quiet and I am sitting here listening to the gentle snores of the littlest one tucked up in between myself tapping away on the laptop and my husband trying to block out said tapping to attempt sleep, that I really reflect on how lucky we are and how fabulous the children are.

They are so different, I know I have said it before, but every day I am amazed at just how different they are. And somehow it works. Take today for instance. Delilah, the queen of the universe, who can simply not understand or accept why everything in existence doesn’t revolve around her two-year-old being, and Leo, the over-anxious, caring, quiet, thinking four-year-old and myself decide to go down the street.

Delilah has a bike. It is pink, it has three wheels and it has two seats. But Delilah’s legs are as yet too short to reach and push the pedals the full circle they require to move forward. So, as a result, Leo rides it for her and she takes a load off in the back seat. So, we saddle up:

Me: “Ok guys, let’s ride down the street.”

Leo puts on his hat, his boots and goes to get the bike. Delilah is already out the door, one sock, no shoes, no hat, door left wide open behind her. Leo has a small coronary and insists Delilah rectifies all of the above. She says no with a well-perfected death stare and Leo politely and patiently explains that we simply cannot go any further in our planned adventure until she has appropriate footwear, protection from the sun and closes that door so the flies don’t get in because Daddy hates flies. Again, Delilah replies with a very short, but very loud and insistent “NO”.

We do this for a bit, Delilah practices some more stubborn traits until, eventually, she gives in. For this reason, we need to leave at least half an hour early for any engagement to allow for Delilah’s independence speech before we board the vehicle of choice for that day.

Ok, so here we are ready to go.

Delilah (holding on in the back seat): “It is scarwy Eo.”

Leo: “It is ok Lilah, I will go slow for you.”

Delilah: “Hanks for dat Eo, hanks for going slow.”

Leo: “My pleasure Delilah.”

And off we go!

After a relatively uneventful ride the two blocks to the main street, we arrive at the Post Office.

Me: “Ok, off the bike, park it there out of the road. Inside, you may look at all the pretty things but please do not touch them.”

Delilah: “Why?”

Me: “Because I have asked you not to, now you show me how good you are at listening.”

Inside the Post Office we go.

Leo asks if he can help me at all by carrying something, Delilah runs straight to the trinkets and starts lovingly handling them all and feeling each and every one to experience all the shop has to offer, afterall, it would be a shame to miss out.

Me: “Delilah, please only look.” I say in the hope she may suddenly become a different person just for the five minutes I have to be in the Post Office with many inviting things at two-year-old level. But just for that five minutes, no longer. It doesn’t happen. Probably a good thing because Delilah just wouldn’t be Lilah without having to experience absolutely everything on offer in the world without fear or judgement. Leo walks behind her quietly telling her how to at least handle the things properly so there are no damages.

Job done, time to go. I open the door. Delilah begins a very loud protest about her wanting to open the door. We give her this one and close the door allowing her to open it herself. She does, but then takes up residence on the Post Office floor holding the door wide open. I diplomatically discuss this for some time while apologising to everyone stepping over the small child and the concerned brother at 4.30pm in the Post Office doorway.

Then I give up. It had been a long day, in fact our third trip down the street.

Me: “Ok, well you can stay there Delilah, but we are going over to the supermarket. Bye”

Leo: “But Mummy, we can’t leave her here, I do like her, she is Lilah. What if she gets locked in, then she will have to sleep here and I am sure she will miss us.”

Me: “It’s ok Leo, I wasn’t really going to leave her, I was just pretending.”

Delilah, of course hears all this and renders my threat useless.

After quite sometime, a lot of convincing and possibly a bribe, we are eventually back on the bike.

Don’t even ask about the supermarket! All I’ll say is the protest reached fever pitch when we had to have a large conversation in the meat section about why we need to wear shoes in the supermarket.

Total opposites, but two peas in a pod. Leo goes to kinder for two hours on a Wednesday morning and Delilah spends the entire two hours asking where he is and if he is ok. Delilah is completely uninhibited, willing to give everything a go and take in all on offer. Leo is cautious but has a hilarious sense of humour. He is so very caring and responsible and always there to catch Delilah when her grand plan doesn’t quite work out. Delilah encourages Leo to push his boundaries and let some of the worry go. She looks up to him and wants to learn everything he has to teach. Together they make up the best games and have great fun, and mostly, not always, but mostly enjoy each others company.

Two amazing kids in their own separate ways. How lucky are we that we get to watch them grow together and discover new parts of their personality each day. A tantrum here and an over-anxious worry there pale to insignificance in the wonder of two incredible children.

Just another day in the depths of imagination (written Jan 6, 2011)

Just another day in the depths of imagination

by Rose Harris on Thursday, January 6, 2011 at 12:00pm

Leo is contemplating what vintage caravan to buy and Delilah will only answer to "penguin". Just another day in the world of Leo and Delilah.

It is hard to tell what Delilah will be next. On the surface, one might assume she is doing that ignoring skill that females do so well or is simply not listening. I'll give you an example.

Me: "Delilah, could you please get dressed?"

Delilah continues doing what she is doing or begins to roll over the floor.

Me: "Delilah, could you please get dressed, I am waiting." (times at least four or five)

Delilah: "I not Lilah, I'm a penguin."

Me: "Penguin, could you please get dressed?"

Delilah gets dressed immediately.

Delilah: "Say hank-you penguin."

Sometimes it strikes at 3am.

Delilah: "Daddy! Daddy!"

Daddy: "Yes Delilah, it's night time, what's the matter? Hop back into bed please"

Delilah: "I not Lilah, I'm a balloon. The balloon needs cuddles."

Daddy: "Ok balloon, have a cuddle and now go back to sleep."

Delilah: "Ok. Say hank you balloon."

Other times it is a dog, often a baby and sometimes Miss Polly. She has also been known to only answer to Grandma or elephant.

She surely has a future as an actress. Surely.

Leo on the other hand has a very logical imagination. He spends his time imagining what his life will be like when he grows up, becomes a vet in Donald and drives a blue car with a TV that tells you where to go (I assume he means GPS).

Leo: "Mummy, when I'm a vet and your cat gets run over, you can bring it to me."

Me: "I would have hoped that if I did have a cat it didn't get run over."

Leo: "Well you can come to my vet house and I will cook you tea."

The other thing Leo is currently obsessed with is getting a caravan. Not sure where this sprouted from.

Leo: "So mummy, we need a caravan. It's ok, I'll sleep on the top bed and there will be room for Stig. Then we won't have to worry about the tent breaking in half."

Me: "That is a very good idea Leo, but caravans cost a lot of money, maybe we can look around and try and save up."

Leo: "So can we go get that money for the caravan today?"

Here's another one:

Leo: "Mummy, I had very good dreams last night."

Me: "Did you Leo, what were they about?"

Leo: "Well everything was upside down. You and Daddy and Lilah were upside down and I was walking around and the house was upside down too. And do you know what you said to me Mummy?"

Me: "What's that Leo?"

Leo: "You said, why are you walking around upside down Leo?"

Often, they combine forces. Usually one of them is the superhero and the other in need of saving from various quagmires of mud and crocodiles.

I just love listening to them, some of the best quotes I have ever heard have come from these two. Would rival Ghandi I'm sure.

My favourite? There are two, both from Leo. The first has to be, "Mummy, why doesn't Grandma get old?". And the second, when we were talking about birthdays and how they work, Leo brings up a dear old friend of his who passed away and says "She just used up all her birthdays didn't she Mummy?"

The side effects of photography

I love taking photos. I just adore capturing candid, natural moments in a still image. A memory caught in print forever. Really, nothing beats that. So, I tend to take photos often. In fact, my camera has become known as the "third baby" as it comes with us where ever we go and my husband has joked about it needing its own special seat in the car.

My kids don't find it unusual if we are going for a drive and I suddenly pull off the road. They wait patiently while I grab the camera to capture that image which has just caught my eye.

It is only recently that I have noticed a certain side effect of this photography habit emerging in my children. They are learning to appreciate the beauty in everything. Things they may not have ordinarily thought about twice they now ask "Do you need to take a photo of that Mummy?"

Driving home from a long day, Leo will look into the gorgeous pink sunset and ask if I need to photograph it. When Leo and Delilah water their garden of a morning, they will often come running in excitedly, "Mummy, Mummy, we have some new flowers, get the camera!"

And in turn, I am learning to see the world from their perspective. What is important to them and what they want captured forever.

In fact just today, a day of absolute perfection, beautiful sun with a light breeze and occasional overcast moments, Leo came inside to suggest I bring the camera out with the "stick thing" (tripod) as is was such a lovely day that I needed to be in the photos he was about to direct.

We love self timer. The tripod is a bit fiddly for my liking, despite Leo's insistence, and I tend to use random objects of acceptable height to prop the camera up on and then run into position to beat the 10 second timer. Today those 'tripods' came in the from of an esky and the top of the slide.

There was of course lots of photos of the kids and I, under Leo's artistic direction of course. But then I love when they decide what should be photographed. "Mummy, look at these eggs, take a photo, the black chook laid this one."

"Mummy, the clouds, take a photo of the clouds. Mummy, the grass, look it is so green and there are bugs."

"Mummy, look here on my arm, take a photo of this spot." Leo had discovered his first freckle.

I really do love photos.

Incredible Kids.

My kids are incredible. Yeah, yeah…here we go, another parent proclaiming they have spawned the returned Messiah. Truly though, my kids are quite amazing and it isn’t until the house is quiet and I am sitting here listening to the gentle snores of the littlest one tucked up in between myself tapping away on the laptop and my husband trying to block out said tapping to attempt sleep, that I really reflect on how lucky we are and how fabulous the children are.

They are so different, I know I have said it before, but every day I am amazed at just how different they are. And somehow it works. Take today for instance. Delilah, the queen of the universe, who can simply not understand or accept why everything in existence doesn’t revolve around her two-year-old being, and Leo, the over-anxious, caring, quiet, thinking four-year-old and myself decide to go down the street.

Delilah has a bike. It is pink, it has three wheels and it has two seats. But Delilah’s legs are as yet too short to reach and push the pedals the full circle they require to move forward. So, as a result, Leo rides it for her and she takes a load off in the back seat. So, we saddle up:

Me: “Ok guys, let’s ride down the street.”

Leo puts on his hat, his boots and goes to get the bike. Delilah is already out the door, one sock, no shoes, no hat, door left wide open behind her. Leo has a small coronary and insists Delilah rectifies all of the above. She says no with a well-perfected death stare and Leo politely and patiently explains that we simply cannot go any further in our planned adventure until she has appropriate footwear, protection from the sun and closes that door so the flies don’t get in because Daddy hates flies. Again, Delilah replies with a very short, but very loud and insistent “NO”.

We do this for a bit, Delilah practices some more stubborn traits until, eventually, she gives in. For this reason, we need to leave at least half an hour early for any engagement to allow for Delilah’s independence speech before we board the vehicle of choice for that day.

Ok, so here we are ready to go.

Delilah (holding on in the back seat): “It is scarwy Eo.”

Leo: “It is ok Lilah, I will go slow for you.”

Delilah: “Hanks for dat Eo, hanks for going slow.”

Leo: “My pleasure Delilah.”

And off we go!

After a relatively uneventful ride the two blocks to the main street, we arrive at the Post Office.

Me: “Ok, off the bike, park it there out of the road. Inside, you may look at all the pretty things but please do not touch them.”

Delilah: “Why?”

Me: “Because I have asked you not to, now you show me how good you are at listening.”

Inside the Post Office we go.

Leo asks if he can help me at all by carrying something, Delilah runs straight to the trinkets and starts lovingly handling them all and feeling each and every one to experience all the shop has to offer, afterall, it would be a shame to miss out.

Me: “Delilah, please only look.” I say in the hope she may suddenly become a different person just for the five minutes I have to be in the Post Office with many inviting things at two-year-old level. But just for that five minutes, no longer. It doesn’t happen. Probably a good thing because Delilah just wouldn’t be Lilah without having to experience absolutely everything on offer in the world without fear or judgement. Leo walks behind her quietly telling her how to at least handle the things properly so there are no damages.

Job done, time to go. I open the door. Delilah begins a very loud protest about her wanting to open the door. We give her this one and close the door allowing her to open it herself. She does, but then takes up residence on the Post Office floor holding the door wide open. I diplomatically discuss this for some time while apologising to everyone stepping over the small child and the concerned brother at 4.30pm in the Post Office doorway.

Then I give up. It had been a long day, in fact our third trip down the street.

Me: “Ok, well you can stay there Delilah, but we are going over to the supermarket. Bye”

Leo: “But Mummy, we can’t leave her here, I do like her, she is Lilah. What if she gets locked in, then she will have to sleep here and I am sure she will miss us.”

Me: “It’s ok Leo, I wasn’t really going to leave her, I was just pretending.”

Delilah, of course hears all this and renders my threat useless.

After quite sometime, a lot of convincing and possibly a bribe, we are eventually back on the bike.

Don’t even ask about the supermarket! All I’ll say is the protest reached fever pitch when we had to have a large conversation in the meat section about why we need to wear shoes in the supermarket.

Total opposites, but two peas in a pod. Leo goes to kinder for two hours on a Wednesday morning and Delilah spends the entire two hours asking where he is and if he is ok. Delilah is completely uninhibited, willing to give everything a go and take in all on offer. Leo is cautious but has a hilarious sense of humour. He is so very caring and responsible and always there to catch Delilah when her grand plan doesn’t quite work out. Delilah encourages Leo to push his boundaries and let some of the worry go. She looks up to him and wants to learn everything he has to teach. Together they make up the best games and have great fun, and mostly, not always, but mostly enjoy each others company.

Two amazing kids in their own separate ways. How lucky are we that we get to watch them grow together and discover new parts of their personality each day. A tantrum here and an over-anxious worry there pale to insignificance in the wonder of two incredible children.

The Meaning of Life

Despite the worn-out cliche, it really is incredible where life takes you. In a moment where despair is everything and there seems to be no way out it feels like there might not even be a tomorrow. Then, when time passes, as it does, I look back and, for one, realise there was a tomorrow and I made it there and secondly, that despairing event or moment steered me in a direction I would have not otherwise travelled, and I am always the more thankful for it.

I would not be where I am today if we hadn't weathered all the storms we have, re-thought decisions, made new plans, gone back to the old ones and then been thrown in the complete opposite direction...

Two years of Delilah Harris.

Delilah will be two on Sunday. In a way, it has crept up on us and I really can't believe where the years have gone, as cliched as that sounds. But in another way, it is hard to believe she is only just now turning two as since she was born she has been under the impression she is at least 25 and has gone some of the way to convincing the rest of us.

Delilah, or Lady Delilah as she has become known is independent, resilient, a drama queen, clever, cheeky, spirited, stubborn and somehow overwhelmingly cute and charming. Leo was and has always been a thinker, taking in everything, pondering and internalising it and then coming up with a reaction all in a very calculated and logical manner. Delilah isn't like that.

Delilah dives in before wasting any time thinking about whether it is a good idea. She speaks extremely well and therefore talks a lot. She has an opinion, and a very strong one, on almost everything. She refuses to accept, as she always has, that she is little and may require assistance with some tasks. She doesn't have time for getting dressed, getting clean and certainly not for having her hair done. She does have time for dirt, cuddles, food, her brother and her Grandma and Grandpa (not necessarily in that order). And really, what else does a girl need in life? Ok, so clothes would be preferable.

When you have a second child, of course you wonder whether they will be like their sibling, will they be different? Will they get along together? Will they suffer from never knowing the experience of being an only child with undivided parental attention?

Delilah answered all those questions in her first few months of life and has held true to them all. In a nutshell, she is as different from Leo as possible, but loves him to bits and idolises the ground he walks on and tries her hardest every day to be just like him. So, mostly, they get along so very well together and when they run around giggling at each other's jokes and worry over the welfare of the other and ask for two biscuits so they can share, it all seems a bit silly that we had those earlier worries.

Delilah is a girl of course, and in her two years has perfected the art of using that fact to her advantage. She is a rough-and-tumble sort of kid, but when she has had enough, she suddenly becomes a princess with looks that could kill and in desperate need of a cuddle before she expires in the next five minutes.

She loves dirt, and has been known to even taste quite a bit. She doesn't see the need to constantly have her face wiped or clean hands and always protests the process. She does however adore a bath in all its bubbly glory. Delilah is fast, she never stops, in her world everything needs to be inspected and handled and discovered and there is simply no time to waste. A slide is never to high and a playground never too challenging. She has a habit of never looking where she is walking, always looking around and behind her, making sure she isn't missing anything. Therefore she quite frequently walks into things and falls over and always has a war wound or two gain some sympathy points when required.

Delilah hates being still, detests the pram, the carseat, sleep, nappy changes, getting dressed or anything else that requires one to be still. She has devised a way of getting out of five point harnesses and has been known to push her brother back from the shops in her pram. She hates shoes and anything designed to keep her hair out of her eyes.

Delilah is yet to sleep through the night since she became mobile. She will wander into our bedroom sometime in the depths of the night with a "Daddy? Cuddles?" and the most gorgeously heart-warming smile ever on her face in the dull light of the alarm clock and snuggle down, tell Daddy off once or twice for his cuddle skills and then fall blissfully back to sleep in his arms. She is a cute one and makes it very hard for anyone to be upset with her. The charm on this girl has oozed since day one. A walk down to the shops takes ever so long by the time she stops to have a conversation with every single person who inevitably stops.

She also also perfected "the look", slamming doors, batting eyelids, whipping out the killer dimples, "NO!", cuddles, getting her brother into trouble and pointing out anything "pretty". All that I am told, are trademark signs of a girl.

She prefers to do everything herself. For instance, a trip in the car means Delilah putting on her own coat and hat, gathering up several inanimate friends, opening the front door herself, closing the front door herself, holding the car keys, checking the mail herself on the way to the car, opening her own car door, getting in her own carseat and doing up her own harness and then somehow closing her own door and then telling me which way we need to go and what we need at the shops. Any attempt to intervene and assist with any of the above will result in yells of "HEEEEELLLLP, OOOOOOUCH" all the way down the street and have concerned neighbours coming to see what abuse Delilah is being subjected to.

We reckon, from what we have seen in these first two years, Delilah is a girl who is going to hold her own, she'll be a match for anyone who bothers to challenge her and will be a hard one to pin down. She will have few cares in life and always look for the fun element in everything to make it worthwhile doing. She will be unruly by appearance but her stunning blue eyes, long eyelashes, dimples and blonde hair will render that unruly appearance invisible. She will have the world at her feet and choose to explore most of it for her own enjoyment, she will go after what she wants and while sometimes might fail, she'll get up, dust herself off and try again with a lesson learnt.

We fear there may be a B&S ute in her future also, and combined with that insatiable thirst for fun and adventure, that is where we choose to finish speculating.

Who knows, she is a clever one and knows how to work the system but also has a large dash of compassion and empathy for others and sooooooo much love to give. I can't wait to hand this to her in twenty years and see where my predictions came through, if at all. But in the meantime, we'll just sit back and enjoy the Delilah ride because one thing is for sure, its an unpredictable but incredibly entertaining one.

Happy second birthday Delilah Rose xxxxxx